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gil

Tell us yet another joke

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Voted, apparently, the Best Australian Joke

A bloke's wife goes missing while diving off the West Australian Coast .
 He reports the event, searches fruitlessly and spends a terrible night  wondering what could have happened to her.
 Next morning there's a knock at the door and he is confronted by a  couple of police officers, the old Sarge and a younger Constable.
The Sarge says,"Mate, we have some news for you, unfortunately some really bad news,  but, some good news, and maybe some more good news."
 "Well," says the bloke, "I guess I'd better have the bad news first."
 The Sarge says, "I'm really sorry mate, but your wife is dead. Young Bill here found  her lying at about five fathoms in a little cleft in the reef.  He got a line around her and we pulled her up, but she was dead."
The bloke is naturally distressed to hear of this and has a bit of a turn. But after a few minutes he pulls himself together and asks what the  good news is.
The Sarge says, "Well when we got your wife up there were quite a few really good  sized lobsters and a swag of nice crabs attached to her, so we've  brought you your share."
He hands the bloke a bag with a couple of nice lobsters and four or five crabs in it.
"Geez thanks. They're bloody beauties. I guess it's an ill wind and all that .... so, what's the other possible good news?"

"Well," the Sarge says, "If you fancy a quick trip, young Bill and I get off duty at around 11 o'clock and we're gonna shoot over there and pull her up again."

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Stolen from BoingBoing in retaliation:

 

Two windmills are standing in a field and one asks the other, "What kind of music do you like?"

The other says, "I'm a big metal fan"

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So, a man was sitting next to a woman who was trying to breast-feed her child. The child however refuses to suck on the breast.
Being frustrated, the mother threatens the child, "If you don't suck on, I will give it to the man next to us!" The child still refuses to oblige. After about 10 minutes of failed effort to get her child to breastfeed, the woman threatens her child again.
Finally the man clears his throat and says, "Look here woman, you better make up your mind. I was supposed to get off 6 stops ago!"

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